Have you ever noticed that you just can’t help some people?
How many times have you passed along good advice to people only to have it fall on deaf ears?
Why is that?
For many years it was a mystery to me but in my studies I have come across one simple explanation – most of us like who we are and believe in ourselves.
That is all well and good as long as we have the results to go along with it.
If you’re in good health, have a good relationship with your close friends and family, enjoy your work,and have money in the bank for a rainy day along with a growing portfolio I would say the results speak for themselves.
The same can be said if you’re 50, broke, divorced and struggle just to get through the week. Again, the results speak for themselves.
The problem is you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. And to want help, they must first realize something’s wrong.
It’s true that “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I agree wholeheartedly with this expression because for 32 years of my life I wasn’t. I wasn’t willing to listen to my father’s sage advice or my friend’s warnings. And it cost me dearly.
My problem wasn’t that I was struggling, I was doing ok which in some cases can be even worse.
You see, when nothing is going right, most of us know it. It scares us.
That fear forces us to take action to remedy the situation.
But when we’re getting by, we just keep plodding along. All the while hoping and waiting for things to get better.
We’re waiting for life to change. We’re waiting for our salaries to go up. We’re waiting for the economy to recover.
These things take years. And worse, some never come.
Why wait? Nip things in the bud.
Don’t wait till your bank account is underwater to take action. Don’t wait till you’re sitting in front of divorce papers to decide to try and make things work.
Whatever problems we have we have two courses of action:
- Deal with them
- Leave them and hope they go away (fyi, 98% of the time they don’t, they get worse)
But what about if you’re a parent who wants to help their children, or a friend who wants to help, what then?
The answer lies in ourselves.
The best way to get people to follow us is by leading them, not instructing them.
As Dwight D. Eisenhower once said “Pull the string and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.”
If you want to help people invest don’t tell them what to do, just do it. Go out there and start studying. Build your portfolio. You’ll be amazed at what happens.
The “Law of Attraction” is in play.
People will notice the change in you. There will be some who flock to you. And there will be others who will distance themselves from the new you.
I have seen this happen in numerous cases.
One of the toughest decisions I made in the past few years was to say goodbye to a few friends from my old life. They were going their way, I was going mine. We had grown apart.
At the same time, somehow, new people entered my life and have helped me grow even faster.
No hard feelings. That’s just the way it is. I wish them well.
Only we know what’s best for us. Don’t let someone tell you want to do. Instead, learn from a variety of sources and determine what’s right for you.
No one says you have to go for it. With life we are given the gift of choice.
We can choose not to listen. We can choose not to work hard. We can choose to sleep late. We are free to do with our time what we decide.
Don’t waste your time trying to convince others to come over to your side. Most won’t come and those that do might not like the view when they get there.
Focus on what you want, your dreams, your desires. And let that lead you wherever that does.
The best gift we can give both ourselves and those that we love is the gift of self-love. Loving ourselves enough to do whatever it takes to become the person we can be. And in doing so we get to share that person with our friends and loves ones.
I remember that in Robert Kiyosaki’s best-selling book, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” he used a quote to explain how hard it is to change people. The quote is actually from Robert Heinlein, “Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.” Something worth remembering the next time you think you can change someone.
Let people live their lives. And you live yours.
Share your ideas with people who like what you have to offer.
That’s what I’m doing.
I hope you will, too.